Summer jobs

well today i went out on a job search. the job i thought i would getfor the summer i didn't . i almost cryed but then i though why am i doing this? God just has something better for me. instead of what i allways do and get fearful and not go all out in everything. i kicked myself in to gear and said your doing this no matter what! i really need a summer job there is no way the plotners will let me not. so put your all in it and get it done with . And you know what? i had fun with it. i had so many people to talk too and every one kept asking me if i was over 18 and i am 21. ya ya i know what you are saying i will like it when i am older. ya i like it now some times. but any who i really liked it. and i am excited about getting a summer job. and getting out there and doing the stuff. :0)

pics

pictures have so many words without saying anything!

this one is my fav. 

this yellow one is so bright! 

these are some pics i took of the flowers in our front yard. i think they are so beautiful!!! 

Oprah ya ya i watch it some times i know

I was watching Oprah and it was about teenage girls and the struggles that we girls deal with and problems we have, that all people have. Some girls drank did drugs cut themselves, were in abusive relationships ECT all kinda things. And these are girls 12 to 18. It’s getting younger and younger every year. It is so hard to see these girls out there feeling this stuff and not knowing were to turn; I know how it hurts to be lonely with lots of people around. To not know where to turn it is a very stinky place to be. There are people like that every where. Right next door at the store, at you friends soccer games. If we just get bold and talk to them. You don't have to preach at them. Just say hi or say something nice, help them pick some makeup out or whatever shows them a kindness that they might not get anywhere else. It messes with you, it’s been messing with me.

Change

All of my life everything has changed good, bad, hard, and ugly mostly hard for me. I have never liked change because everything was so hard for me when I was little and that’s why I really don't like change now. It has always not been good for me. one thing God just showed me tonight is that I let fear predict what I do and how I act even tonight I was starting to play a game at a friends house got freaked and messed up and didn't finish my turn. I know it may seem silly but I do that a lot of time and at everything. If I get freaked and can't do it right then and there I just give up. That’s not a good place to be I know. It all goes to when I was little and things that happened and this fear was instilled into me that I don't want. And the fear of change is holding me back so much right now I just realized it tonight. So fear has got to go!!! No matter what! How do you handle fear? Well I am going to find out how to get out of my fearfulness with Gods help!

spring and summer is on its way!!! 

I passed

hey that test i took i passed and now i am in School of leaders 2. i am excited. this will be fun and life changing. well life is allways changing anyways. change is good but it hurts. right now some of my friedships with some people are changing and i don't like it . not that why it is changing is bad but i wish i could have gone down easier. handled a different way. well, long and short of it is some of us got droped by one of our friends for a girl. well it seems that way and i know it was not ment to be taken that way but it hurts anyways. i talked to him and we are ok i can still call him and hang out some times but it is still a bummer some of the time. oh well life goes on. some times i am realy afriad of change but God is opening my eyes to all kinds of new things and i am not so fearful of it. ok you guys have a great day. :0)