Beth Gratcyk

I've got a fire in me!

2006-05-28T19:29:00.000-05:00

Wow....... God is so awesome. He is so good to me. I love him with all my heart! I have passion for him, the nation’s, just life, like never before. I am so in love with Jesus. I can not explain it! I am just ready to run! Where ever he goes I will follow!

2006-05-13T21:34:00.000-05:00

I Love Photos!!!

2006-04-29T18:22:00.000-05:00

Well, all things are new! A lot of things have been changing for me and I am excited to tell you about them. Well I got a job at a day care and I love it. I am still the plotners nanny, I love that too but samara (littlest one) is going off to school next year and I will need a new job so I did. I will be no longer working at taco bell ether. I am way excited about that one. With the new job and still working for the plotners I have the evenings free and the weekends off. I have time to get involved in church stuff again and do the things I love to do. I want to learn a lot more music (singing, playing) and so many other thing. I just don't know where to start. Well I’m outa here! bye

2006-03-13T15:44:00.000-06:00

Spring is coming!

changed... not afraid any more.

2006-03-10T18:59:00.000-06:00

Wow I can just say wow. So much has changed in me and I love it. Don’t have much time to write it all down but God has done a great work inside me and I love every min of it. its like I was in a dark room with all the light off and my life was in this trunk and I could never see it because all the light were out but slowly the lights started to come on. first the trusty night light. you can see but its not the best and is still very dark. then a little lamp and then the closet light and now the room light and I can see everything for what it is instead of being told and kinda knowing what it is . all my dreams and all the things I have wanted to do and allways being afraid of them because I could never see them clearly but now I can and I am so excited. ok i have to run . untill next time. Im outa here.

2006-02-08T10:12:00.000-06:00

my newer older car!

Have you ever..........

2006-01-19T22:03:00.000-06:00

Had something hit you so hard it knocks you off your feet. Well this Jan. we are having the negativity fast. As we are going through this (there’s no complaining only positive thing we are to say) I am having the hardest time!!! I have realized that I don't really talk about things when they are good just when something wrong happens and every thing seems to have gone wrong since I started and I think it is just bring it all out . I do feel helpless in every way right now. That’s where he always takes you when he really wants you to learn something. at least for me he does. To your lowest than he brings you back up. Ok well anywho I have to go. I have lots to do and have to get up super early. Until next time, bye

2006-01-09T20:47:00.000-06:00

i love music!

well..........

2006-01-09T20:38:00.001-06:00

It's the New Year, a fresh start and new begining. i am excited for whatever God has for me this year. I am busyer then ever but i am glad for it. I see what i am doing and all the goals i am close to finishing. i am just stinkin excited. Not much to say for the new year yet but I just know great things are going to happen.

2005-12-21T13:14:00.000-06:00

this is a pic of my sister Lana and I when we went to her staff Christmas party in Chicago. It was a great time.

2005-12-21T13:09:00.000-06:00

this is our little tree downstairs. its so cutie!!!

2005-11-21T15:48:00.000-06:00

The Holidays are coming!!! Yes, I know it is one of the craziest times of the year for most everyone but it is one of the most fun times for me. I love spending that special holiday time just chillin with the people I love.

well, how have you been?

2005-11-12T23:30:00.000-06:00

Well for me it’s been a ride. God has just been showing me stuff. I have been really quite about it. I probly should have talked to someone about it but I didn't. I don't mean to be so quite all the time. For a long time I have been asking God to teach me how to get closer to him. To really know the love that he has for me, to get really close. At the encounter he invited me to come with him on a trip in the woods like the knight sweeping his princess way and off her feet. Ya that’s what I want but what did it do, freak out! I got scared, fearful of getting so close but then hurt ever so much more. So I go back and protect my hurts. Fearful of that hurt that will come with the healing, guiding and teaching. It’s so stupid to get fearful of getting closer to God because that’s what we want. That’s what I want! He has been such a gentlemen to me. A true gentleman. One that I have never ever met before. I want to let him sweep me away. Go on that adventure and teach me all and show me the great wander he is going to do. so yes I am excited to go on this adventure with him and no matter where he takes me or who he has me met and talk tohes lead leading me. He is there whispering in my ear come be with me on to the next adventure. I love it!!!!! Ok, I need to go to bed it’s late and I am sleepy. thank for reading my blog i like writing things out for you guys. love you all! bye for now

my phone is fried!!!

2005-11-03T20:33:00.000-06:00

Have you ever dropped your phone in water? Will I did the other night. And now I am out of a phone for a day or two and it’s really weird I never knew how much I used it. Also since I fried it I have lost all of my numbers of everyone I had. Now I wish I had written them down but I never thought I would need to, oh well. Who would have thunk it. I am so lol at my self I feel so stupid but it’s really funny to think of. I just had a blond moment I guess. Thank goodness I had phone insurance. talk to ya later. I'm outta here.

The Pumpkin Patch!

2005-10-20T14:42:00.000-05:00

Well, today Mara and i went to the pumpkin patch today!
it was so cutie just to watch Mara try to pick one. there were lots.
we went on a tracker ride and we ate a Pumpkin donut and a Apple donut. we had lots of fun!

2005-10-20T14:34:00.000-05:00

there were so many. what one should we pick?

2005-10-20T14:32:00.000-05:00

Mara with our pumpkin!

My Brithday!

2005-10-19T15:10:00.000-05:00

Well yesterday was my birthday! I am 22 now. Wahoo! I had a fun and well it started like another day. Mara and I did school, had fun, played a little. Then my friend Michelle came and we had lunch and went to the candy factory by our house (not really by our house but it was on highway 30 anywho) Mara loved all the candy and we saw how they made the stuff and every thing. It was fun. Later we went to youth group that was fun but since I have not been going for a long time since I work it was weird. After youth a group of us went out to eat. I never get to hang out so it was fun. I always have fun when my 2 fav friends come hang out they make it the best. Ok well that was my birthday. Not anything big just a normal day. Well until next time see ya!

2005-10-11T14:31:00.000-05:00

Mara and I

2005-10-11T14:30:00.000-05:00

oh Selah, the cutie!

So.....

2005-10-10T20:35:00.000-05:00

So yes, the old background got old. So I picked a new one. I wish they had a purple one and a cute one at that. But any who I am just sitting around chillin wondering what i should do for my birthday. Don’t think I will do much, I might go to a movie with one of my friends and go on a shopping spree sometime soon. I so need to, I have no clothes. Really I don’t!!! I don't fit into any of my clothes anymore so I am down to the faithful few. Lol, I am so laughing at my self right now. Oh well, I feel so old and I am only turning 22 that just sounds so weird to me. I feel so old but I know I have so much more to learn and even looking back on the past year and seeing how much I have learned is so cool.

2005-10-10T20:34:00.000-05:00

so ya i like this pic its cool. i am really trying to set some time to work on it. wish me luck.

feeling sick is no fun!

2005-10-08T20:15:00.000-05:00

Well for the last few days I have been feeling really sick, fever and all. I have been sleeping allot so that helps. I don't have a fever any more but my ears still hurt and my head as well but I will be ok. I am a big baby when I am sick. I never like it. I don't know anyone who dose. But I am going to get better sooner or later. Well I will talk to you guys later. Bye:0)

he said.....

2005-10-06T16:38:00.000-05:00

Well, for a little wile I have been crying out to God for answers. This past Sunday he gave me the answer. This whole Q of why I am at work where I am at, who am I to pour in to there and so forth. In the middle of the cell I go to God dropped one of the answer in me heart. He has put me there to get rid of my flesh and man; my flesh screams everyday when I work. Work has been getting better. I have a new out look on why I am there and try to tell people about him and live the right way when I am there and when I am not.

the wine press (no really i am pressed to no end)

2005-09-25T21:35:00.000-05:00

Man, God is doing so much in me right now. I don't even know where to start. Everything is so hard at work (taco bell). I am at a loss for words. It’s so stressful and hard. So many people don't like each other and gossip like bad. I am so sick of hearing it and the way people talk, its horrifying. They are so lost and they know it! When I talk to them they know but they don’t want to change. I don't know what else to do and where to go. Right now I want to run and get a job some where else. I have tried but it has not worked and God has told me no, not to go somewhere else. I just see no end to all this crap. I just want peace. It gets me all worked up and my flesh cries out why me? But I know I am there for a reason but I just can't see it right now. God please show me. I need to see why I am here!

2005-09-12T12:31:00.001-05:00

so bueatiful!!!

2005-09-12T12:31:00.000-05:00

:0)

2005-09-12T12:30:00.000-05:00

Roses are some of my fav flowers. I got these as a gift for Pastor Jon and Charlene. The best people in the whole wide world!!! It was there anniversary.

2005-09-07T14:09:00.000-05:00

:0)

the wine press

2005-09-06T15:53:00.000-05:00

Ever feel like you’re in a wine press. Well, I do! That’s were I am right now. I feel as if I am being pressed. Through ever thing I am doing God is showing me the strength he has given me. That I have so much I have to share and I a have so much yet to come. I am learning so much but yet I feel overwhelmed. I have been working like a mad woman. 30 hours a week at taco bell, watching the girls, and working for Beth. Not really getting time to rest (not a good thing on my part). I am just exhausted. You know when those super stars have to go to the hospital because of exhaustion I felt like that Sat. I so broke down and talk to my boss at taco bell. So I will be getting only 20 hours a week. That is cool with me. I so want to get back into doing the things I love to do. Those things that I don't get to do very much anymore. Singing, writing, playing, taking pics, just being at home with the people I love, and just being with my friends I love. I so miss just hanging out. Ya one of my love languages is quality time and I just don't have time for anything. I will though and I am excited. I love you guy. I will talk to you later bye have to go to work.

A heart for music and worship

2005-09-01T22:38:00.000-05:00

Everyone is made differently and in a special way. God made me with a love for music, worship, intersetion, photos ECT. Anything artsy I got the bug. as of recently I have not really taped into it all that much I have had the desire for years but little by little I would play with are my talents but never poured all of me into it. With me starting my 3 jobs I have realized how much I did play with my talents and how I so want to pour myself into it so much more. I love to just sit and listen to people play music. For some reason it calms me it set me at ease. I just love it and when we worship. Oh man, talk about fun!!! Just to pour my heart out to God is so cool. Tonight I have a song inside of me but don't know how to put it on paper. This happens to me all the time. I really could just write for hours if I would let myself do so. I feel like I can never do my music stuff. All I need is time and a good teacher and I can do anything. I want to write. I want to play and sing all day long right now.

work work work....

2005-08-25T13:11:00.000-05:00

Well all I feel like I am doing is work work work and now today I don' feel good at all I think my body is mad at me for all the going and going and going. Oh well! I just need to rest up and take care of myself better when I am working all the time. At work taco bell we are short handed so I work every day I am able too. It’s getting to be a lot but its cool the last to night I worked people have been just asking me about what I believe and what my view points on things and they don't like to curse around me ether I like that. I can see how God is using me and I love it. Well selah is loving her time at school and Mara and I are having fun at home we start school next week. I get to teach her every thing my mom dose with her preschool class so it will be fun and we will have lots to do. As of right now we just hang out and chill. Well I will talk to you all later. Beth:0)

School Starts soon.

2005-08-12T13:46:00.000-05:00

Well, school starts soon. I am excited, not that I get to go back to school (I would like to be young and go redo what I know I should have done when I was there but anywho) I get to watch my girls again!!! I miss just chilling with them but everything is going to be so different. I know selah is going to go all day to school I will be teaching Mara stuff at home and then working at taco bell and for Mrs. J. starting my cell this weektoo. It will all be good but just thinking about every thing wigs me out. I so want to make sure everyone know I love them. I want to make time for everyone but I won’t have much to go around so all you out there. I Love you guys! Just wanted to let you know. well i am excited anyways. even though it seem scary to me i know God is just working stuff out in me and i can do anything and all these things with his help and with him right by my side. ok untill next time. :0)

2005-08-12T13:45:00.000-05:00

take a leap of faith!

Sorry.....

2005-08-08T19:40:00.000-05:00

Hey, I am sorry I have not posted in a long time. Things have been a little crazy the past few weeks. Well I had a nice trip to go see my grandparents. I like seeing them and just loving on them and my uncle, his wife and kids too. God has really been working on me latly. Just the little things to get worked out. I got a job at taco bell so I will be starting on wed. My first day Wahoo. I know it will not be hard (that’s what the lady told me) but I will have a great time and a place to start getting to know people. I am excited. the girls start school too. Well selah dose, she will have a great time and I get to teach Mara at home with my moms stuff ( she is a pre-school teacher ) so Mara will get the best of both worlds school and just being home. I will be starting my cell too, on the 18th. I am excited but a little stressing but I will be ok, don't worry. oh well not much to say but God is good and is with you when ever and what ever you are going through and i love that about him.

Well ...

2005-07-21T20:56:00.000-05:00

I'm off on a trip. going to see my grandparents with my mom, brother, and his girlfriend . oh the joy! it will be a fun trip . lol oh well i will make it fun even if i have to read the whole time! ok will put pics up when i get back and tell you all about it. pray for me i will need it. untill i write again.. bye:0)

2005-07-20T20:27:00.000-05:00

for some odd reason i really like orange! its wierd to me but what dose it mean? anyone know?

2005-07-18T15:39:00.000-05:00

we all have many layers. they have to come back to see that great work inside

Ok , God what do....

2005-07-18T14:50:00.000-05:00

you want to teach me? As of late my car broke down. Never really had it happen before so what did I do.... freak!!! It’s ok to do at times! Well this is just another thing to not help my finical needs. Ya, first I was praying it would not cost a lot. Then I was told how much it would be. Man I don't have that kinda money! any who so I have been asking God to show me what he wants to teach me. one of the big things is just to put my trust in him. I would like to say it was easy but its not. I would rather try to fix it my self but that would not make me learn anything. So here I am putting my self before God saying teach me. God open my ears to hear and open my eyes to see you work. At time i want to scream and say "just help" but I know it is for the best the way his dose things.

2005-07-08T15:55:00.000-05:00

my buddys!!!

2005-07-08T15:54:00.001-05:00

2005-07-08T15:54:00.000-05:00

Ross and Pam did a great job!

2005-07-08T15:52:00.001-05:00

Traice Rocks!

2005-07-08T15:52:00.000-05:00

2005-07-08T15:51:00.000-05:00

they had so much fun!

yup

2005-07-08T15:39:00.000-05:00

yup i know , i know , its been a long time right guys. ok here is whats has been going on for the past few weeks, VBS. yup it takes lots of work! here are some pics. i was the craft lady . i had a great time. but now its back to really life. i am waiting on a yes or no for a lady I asked to have my cell at her home. i hope to start my cell soon . but some of my girls are going to mexico for a missions trip but i can start it any way. i went to the drive in the other day and the movies were great. war of the wolrds and batman begins are soo cool! ok i will write some thing later ok see ya bye

2005-06-20T19:48:00.000-05:00

the movie place, very pretty!

2005-06-20T19:47:00.000-05:00

some very very hot chili stuff don't eat it kills!!!

2005-06-20T19:46:00.001-05:00

My sister!!!

2005-06-20T19:46:00.000-05:00

Good food , forgot to take a pic befor i ate it. opps!!! it did look really cool i promise.

2005-06-20T19:42:00.000-05:00

what Joel? i am taking a picture!

Father's Day!

2005-06-20T19:27:00.000-05:00

Father’s day is a weird day for me. Just cause of things that have happened in my life. I really don't like the day that much but its ok. I got to go out with my Dad though. We (my brother sister and I) ate at this cool Thai place called noodles & company. It was so good I had something called sweet chili chicken. It was great!!! We also went to see Batman Begins that was a good movie. So it was a nice day. We did get out late though so I am way sleepy. I took some cool pics (the ones above) but I wish I could have walked around the city taking pics but I will do that next time. ok , this week, weekend and next week are going to be so crazy for me I am setting up for VBS. starting to work for a lady at church, going to the re encounter then vbs is here. It’s so crazy!!! I will post some more when most of the craziness ends. Until next time

what are your dreams?

2005-06-06T20:10:00.000-05:00

what are your dreams? are you living your dream? or have they been shut down? set aside? lost in that mess you have? i know at one time mine was lost and or i was living someone elses dream never realy knewing what i was looking for or what i was to do to find it. latly all of my dreams have been coming alive things that i never realy thought of are so real to me. i love where God has me now its all changing, even my dreams ,and i can even see that i am changing so much its weird to me. Gods brought me so far and i have so much more to go i know but i am so excited and so willing to go the extra mile to get there even if i have to go by myself(just to point out, i realy don't like to go places by myself i like being around poeple and most of all my friends when going places) by ya i know where i am is where God wants and just ready for the next step just waiting on God.

Ever lasting love

2005-06-03T16:04:00.000-05:00

Well lately God had been showing me so much about myself. I got freaked out and back away for a rest I guess. So I kinda had a melt down of sheer frustration about things and people I didn't know how to deal with it so I tried to find some thing to do. not good to run from things because it allways follows you. There’s no way of getting around it, just deal with it. So I went and got to talk to one of my friend I don't get to talk to hardly at all she’s busy and I tend to be too. but when ever I get really down I seem to call her and I love that she helps me think thing trough I love her for that but ya we talked and hung out all day Monday with another great friend too. we were talking about good books to ready and she gave me this book to read "Redeeming love" it a novel . so a girls book but in some ways I so could relate to how this girl in the book felt and why she aced the way she did because of all the hurt in pain she had in her life I so didn't have all the hurts and stuff she went thought thank God but God so was using this book to get to me again and at the time he did. I so need it. it is just what he always tells me that he loves me and no matter what I do or say he will never leave me and he has the best for me and when i try to run. he is waiting for me and will come get me from where i am when he needs too. I just need trust him and let him do his thing. It’s good to have that reminder I know it’s true and I believe it with all my heart untill next time Beth:0)

2005-05-17T14:06:00.000-05:00

i love sunsets!

nothing much

2005-05-14T12:31:00.000-05:00

hey there everyone not much has happened latly around here. right now i am sick and it stinks!!! i don't like being sick, i am a baby about being sick i know but its no fun. i did get a job at bath and body works but have not been able to really work yet. they hierd lots of people and i mean a lot like 40 part time people and need to get every one trained. so i get to go in on the 20 and 21st to get more training. nothing that exciteding right now just waiting. i want to start working on a scrapbook of the little girls i am watching but it might be a little bit befor i get started. i will keep ya posted on stuff going on and how work gose when i realy get to work. talk to you later! bye:0)

2005-05-04T13:42:00.000-05:00

the Girls! they are getting so big. we played outside all day today. it was so nice!!!

2005-05-04T13:39:00.000-05:00

ya we are the goofy ones!

2005-05-04T13:38:00.000-05:00

Mara and I being silly!

2005-05-04T13:32:00.001-05:00

this is one i had to use the chair on.

2005-05-04T13:32:00.000-05:00

this too

2005-05-04T13:31:00.000-05:00

more flowers from the frount yard. they are so wonderful. but i had to stand on a chair to get them. standing on chairs in a not so level front yard is hard to get a good pic:0)

Blowing up my foundation

2005-05-02T13:52:00.000-05:00

For the last few weeks God has been really messing with me. Its fun but yet scary. He has been showing me so much right now. It’s hard to take it all in all at once but I am so glad. I can see where he is taking me and it’s where I want to be. It’s taken years to be where I am, it’s like my heart was a house and he had to take it all apart room by room wall by wall to get to the foundation and blow it up and start fresh. Nothing of the old was left. Well I am all most there. He's about ready to blow up my foundation and start fresh. I know I was not even here a few weeks ago, about to take the steps I am going to take. I am just so hungry right now for more I don't care anymore. I will do what ever it takes. Hunger drives me now and I can't get enough of him. Have you ever been that hungry? Do you want to be there? What’s getting in the way? I know it was me getting in the way. I’m to hungry to care about that stuff anymore I just want more of God. What about you? No more sitting back, I’m right up there in the middle of everything, that’s where I want to be.

Summer jobs

2005-04-25T23:08:00.000-05:00

well today i went out on a job search. the job i thought i would getfor the summer i didn't . i almost cryed but then i though why am i doing this? God just has something better for me. instead of what i allways do and get fearful and not go all out in everything. i kicked myself in to gear and said your doing this no matter what! i really need a summer job there is no way the plotners will let me not. so put your all in it and get it done with . And you know what? i had fun with it. i had so many people to talk too and every one kept asking me if i was over 18 and i am 21. ya ya i know what you are saying i will like it when i am older. ya i like it now some times. but any who i really liked it. and i am excited about getting a summer job. and getting out there and doing the stuff. :0)

pics

2005-04-21T20:31:00.000-05:00

pictures have so many words without saying anything!

2005-04-21T20:30:00.001-05:00

this one is my fav.

2005-04-21T20:30:00.000-05:00

this yellow one is so bright!

2005-04-21T20:29:00.000-05:00

these are some pics i took of the flowers in our front yard. i think they are so beautiful!!!

Oprah ya ya i watch it some times i know

2005-04-16T00:02:00.000-05:00

I was watching Oprah and it was about teenage girls and the struggles that we girls deal with and problems we have, that all people have. Some girls drank did drugs cut themselves, were in abusive relationships ECT all kinda things. And these are girls 12 to 18. It’s getting younger and younger every year. It is so hard to see these girls out there feeling this stuff and not knowing were to turn; I know how it hurts to be lonely with lots of people around. To not know where to turn it is a very stinky place to be. There are people like that every where. Right next door at the store, at you friends soccer games. If we just get bold and talk to them. You don't have to preach at them. Just say hi or say something nice, help them pick some makeup out or whatever shows them a kindness that they might not get anywhere else. It messes with you, it’s been messing with me.

Change

2005-04-15T22:11:00.000-05:00

All of my life everything has changed good, bad, hard, and ugly mostly hard for me. I have never liked change because everything was so hard for me when I was little and that’s why I really don't like change now. It has always not been good for me. one thing God just showed me tonight is that I let fear predict what I do and how I act even tonight I was starting to play a game at a friends house got freaked and messed up and didn't finish my turn. I know it may seem silly but I do that a lot of time and at everything. If I get freaked and can't do it right then and there I just give up. That’s not a good place to be I know. It all goes to when I was little and things that happened and this fear was instilled into me that I don't want. And the fear of change is holding me back so much right now I just realized it tonight. So fear has got to go!!! No matter what! How do you handle fear? Well I am going to find out how to get out of my fearfulness with Gods help!

2005-04-07T15:43:00.000-05:00

spring and summer is on its way!!!

I passed

2005-04-07T15:21:00.000-05:00

hey that test i took i passed and now i am in School of leaders 2. i am excited. this will be fun and life changing. well life is allways changing anyways. change is good but it hurts. right now some of my friedships with some people are changing and i don't like it . not that why it is changing is bad but i wish i could have gone down easier. handled a different way. well, long and short of it is some of us got droped by one of our friends for a girl. well it seems that way and i know it was not ment to be taken that way but it hurts anyways. i talked to him and we are ok i can still call him and hang out some times but it is still a bummer some of the time. oh well life goes on. some times i am realy afriad of change but God is opening my eyes to all kinds of new things and i am not so fearful of it. ok you guys have a great day. :0)

wahoooooo!!!

2005-03-23T22:25:00.000-06:00

today was just one of those kinda days you just want to be over. Today was the last day of my leadership class at church and it was the TEST! yicks!! So I was kind of freaking out about it and it was easy but I was spacing out with it. Tests put me all in knots. So I was stressing but it’s all over. Wahoo!!! Now its time to just relax. ya I am excited to go to the next level though. ya this leadership class streches me so much but I love it. crazy that i like being pulled every way at once but it makes me move to the next level and gives me a new way of seeing myself and how i react and deal with things. ok i will stop just writing. i could go on and on and on about nothing right now but that would be way to long to post. i am kinda really hyper right now. i need to get some sleep! ok, untill next time. :0)

spring is here!!!

2005-03-18T13:15:00.000-06:00

La La La!!! spring is here! do you hear it? I feel like singing ! i am just so excited its getting warm. beening stuck inside all the time drives me crazy. i love to be outside!!! sorry i'm a little excited about it getting warm out side. well its only 51 outside so its not that warm but the girls and i got to go play outside today and go for a walk. it was fun! La La La ! see ya later La La La!!! as i going sing again:0) Bye

:0)

2005-03-11T12:06:00.000-06:00

some one told me my blogger was really sad latly and well yes it has. God has been really working in my life. digging out old things and it realy hurts a lot of the time but it is a good thing to go through. i am new now still working little things out from what i was in but its a fresh start and i just need to walk this thing out and not let it get the best of me. this is something that my cell leader gave me.(I Love my cell leader!!!) It really is a good reminder of what is real and true. here it is: I am special. God created me for himself and I thank him for the spirit, soul, and body that he gave me. I accept them as a gift from God and repent over all the wrong attitudes I have towards them. I unconditionally forgive every person, especilly myself, who has thought and said things to me that have made me wanted to reject myself. I am a child of God's and worthy of love and forgiveness. I dedicate my life afresh to the One who made me and i rejoice in his goodness. In jesus' name Amen. So hopful it will not be that sad anymore i will try to put happy things in when i can. love you all!

2005-03-10T16:53:00.000-06:00

All things are new and life is good!

2005-02-24T22:50:00.000-06:00

the world in a different light! Its so beautiful from here.

Beauty from pain

2005-02-24T15:13:00.000-06:00

Beauty from pain is the new title of the superchic[k] cd coming out really soon. the title is the story of my life right now. the pain of all my past is ending and the beauty is coming into the light. i had to go through this to get to where my beauty can shine and only God get the glory for this. not alot of peopel know my whole story and all i have been through. theres no way I could have gotten to where i am with out God. he was right by my side and i didn't even know it. i was hidden under something and God kept pulling all the many layers of whatever was over me. now i see where i am and kinda where he is taking me but i'm not scared i am excited about it. he saved me with no Q asked. he did it becuse he loved me. not for me to do anything or to say the right words . he just loves me. I love him for being there when i didn't even know. i have never really know anyone to love so much and i am seeing it more and more as i get closer to God how much he loves me and whould do anything for me. its just really cool to know how much he cares and he wants the best for us his kid.

Gossip makes me mad!!!

2005-02-19T17:04:00.000-06:00

Get over yourself
you with your prideful words
sure you think you could do better
so you bash everyone around
but did you ever think it's what God wanted
what went down was all in his plan

so get over yourself
God can't use a prideful people
get over yourself
its not how or why it happened
just get over yourself

ya people say and do things that you think are stupid
but who's place it is to judge
its not yours or mine but its God
so stop talking and listen

get over yourself
its not yours to judge
get over yourself
stop talking smack and putting people down
get over yourself
all of this is bigger than you
put your trust in God
not in our feeble words and actions
speak what is good not evil of one another
By Beth Gratcyk:0)

funny

2005-02-19T11:01:00.000-06:00

i think its funny. just looking back over the past year or two or more. God has so set me for so many things good and bad but in it all getting my self to look inside of me and see what needs changed. I know i have worked though alot of what needs changed but there is so much that God is showing me that i never know what there. its so cool to look over your life see where I came from where I am now and what is to come. i am excited about what is to come! ya it was be very hard sometimes but i know my Abba will never leave me. he stuck by me this far why would he leave now its just getting better!

2005-02-10T15:54:00.000-06:00

the road of life

cry

2005-02-10T15:21:00.000-06:00

why is it that when you cry it tastes all salty? just one of those silly Q i will have to go look up.:0)

God is digging deep.

2005-02-10T13:19:00.000-06:00

God is finding hurts and wounds i never knew were there. it really stink. No, it really sucks. some times i just want to quit but i know i don't want to stay this way so God have your way but help me with the pain of you sewing me back up and putting the bones in the right places. I know i can't hanld this all on my own and i have tryed. i need you more than ever befor and i don't want to push you away anymore.

:0(

2005-02-09T13:38:00.000-06:00

why can't i trust people with what i have to say or have to do. why do i push people away! why can't i get over this fear of bing unloved. whay can't i let God just do what he wants. I'm scared! I'm scared of getting hurt one more time. i'm scared of people not wanting to hear me. to be rjected again and again. i guess i said thats it, so i quite trying! so now i'm here one more time in the box i am in. i hate this box!!! i want it just to be gone but i can't get it to go away with just me . i need you God. I want to trust you . i want to talk to you . i want you not me . take my fear God i don't want it anymore.

things are good!

2005-01-28T14:22:00.000-06:00

hey there, yes Joel things are much better! God has totaly meet me and healed parts in me that i never knew where there. God is so good to me.

a cry for healing

2005-01-20T13:38:00.000-06:00

have you ever gotten so mad at yourself that you just want to scream! well thats where i am at right now . God has me dealing with my biggest isuse and i hate it. i want God just to ripe it out of me but he said i have to deal with it and walk it out. i don't know how to walk it out or evern how to start to deal with it. i just need to break out of this box i was put in long ago. i want out and i just need a crack to start but i can't do that from the inside. Abba i've tryed but i can't do it on my own. i need you God and you are the only one that can help me out of here! I am crying out fo ryou God. Help!

2005-01-17T14:24:00.000-06:00

my prayer this year is that God make me fresh and anew

2005-01-15T11:52:00.000-06:00

its me !

2005-01-15T11:50:00.000-06:00

samara and our friend emma having fun!

2005-01-10T12:59:00.000-06:00

these are the little girls i watch (Selah & Samara) Are they cute or what?

24/7

2005-01-03T21:51:00.000-06:00

for the month of Jan our church is having 24/7 pray and i get to do mon.at 4 all month. can you think of it people pray at all hours of the day. i love it!!! today was my first day and it was so cool. it went so fast. fri. was the kick off of it. it was so cool so many people came. i was so suprized. last year we didn't have like anyone. this year is going to be so different, i just know it! I am just so excited i don't know where to start. evrything is fresh and new ,its so weird but cool. well, i so don't know where that was going but i hope you guys have a great fresh start of the new year.

life

2004-12-29T14:53:00.000-06:00

hey life stinks sometimes but you always have to move on. christmas was good i loved watching the little girls open there gifts they were more excited just opening them then looking at what they opened. and Daddy Jon and charlene liked there gifts from me too. i was so worried they wouldn't like them. i love what i got too: a hello kitty watch, a new cd boom box (never had a brand new one befor) and a camera. i think i liked watching everyone else open there gifts better. there's nothing like it! i've had the house to my self for a few days and ya know what? i don't like it. i can't sleep when no one is here. it stinks!!! ya its funny but oh well! i tryed to have people over but no one could come over. i wish people could have. i sould have people over some other time. i got to go out with my Dad it was fun. i eat so much!!! my Dad gave us (my brother, sister, and I) my great grandpas tea cups. i thought it was a cool history thing. well i will let you go hopefuly i will post more. i never know what to say. see ya!

wow

2004-12-12T22:49:00.000-06:00

wow, tonight was so cool we had some just saved people come to our cell group. it was so cool!!! we just loved on them and i felt so good! we need to do this like all the time!

humma

2004-12-12T22:37:00.000-06:00

Some times do you ever sit back and think over the year that has gone past? Where God has brought you from and where he has you now. I can’t even think of how it all happened but I know it did and I know I have grown so much I don't even know where to start. My way of thinking is so changed. It’s weird! I love where I am at now. I know I am where God wants me to be and even when it’s hard and I get into trouble and I mess up, it’s good. I can't say how grateful I am to be where I am! I know its one of the craziest times of the year with people buying gift and the go go go of the season. Getting the Christmas dinner and party stuff ready please sometime this Christmas sit and just think over the really meaning of Christmas. That God sent his son as a little baby but yet he was the greatest gift we could ever get. He gave us eternal life. During the busyness of everything tell some one about the greatest gift see what they say.

so much has happened

2004-12-07T14:00:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone sorry I have not blogged in a long time so many things have happened I just never got to this thing well anyways. Over thanks giving I went to my grandparents and it was fun but the day after thanks giving. We went shopping and my grandma fell to the floor and said she had a pain in her heart. She had to be in the hospital for three days we had to leave before she got out. So that was stressful, she’s better now the doc just gave he a talking too. I think she was not doing what the doc told her to do but she good now. Things are a little crazy for me I am all most done shopping for everyone already so I don't have to worry about it later. I would rather get done early and just love the time I have with the people I love then run like a mad women the whole time. I love Christmas!!! It’s just everything!!! It’s the time you get to spend with each other is my fav part. I don't care if I really get lots of stuff I like it when you know you put your heart into the things you give and it brings joy to the ones you love. I just am so excited. It will be my first Christmas as a nanny and its fun to see the holidays in a different family. I feel like I am one of the family too. It’s cool.

the outing

2004-11-21T22:59:00.000-06:00

today i spent the day with my dad. it was cool. my brother and my sister went too. we went to see "a christmas carol" it was good but i liked last years better but thats ok. we saw the light and every thing. watched the people ice skate too. i didn't go because i am realLy bad at it but i want to go buy some skates and learn how too!

the tree

2004-11-20T22:35:00.000-06:00

Well today we put up our Christmas tree. It was fun. It’s weird. it brings back a lot of thoughts of when I was little and putting up the tree. I was kind of sad for a little bit but then I was just watching the girls help Charlene put stuff on the tree. they bring joy into every thing. I really love being here and doing family stuff with the plotners. I am one of the family here. I love it! ok i will write you guys again after my trip to chicago to see my dad and i will let you know how it went. see ya bye

thankful

2004-11-15T13:31:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone, I can't believe it is so close to thanksgiving and Christmas. They are my fav holidays. Thanksgiving is fun. You just get to chill with your family watch movies and just spend time together. What are you guys thankful for? I am thankful for my family and for the plotners (my other family); I love them all so much!!! God has done so much for me in the past year and I have learned so much. I am also thankful for where God has brought me and how he is still working on my heart.

?

2004-11-12T11:49:00.000-06:00

Ever had a fear of being unloved? i think every one has now adays because of all this devorce stuff. who can you trust to get close to love you and then leave you again. why put trust in someone? in the middle of this whole thing God is there for you and he will never leave. nomatter how much the bad guys try to make you feel that way . no matter what or what you think will happen (since it has happened befor) he won't leave and there's no reson he will ever not love you.

hey all

2004-11-10T22:04:00.000-06:00

hey everyone,
God is showing me so much its hard to take it all in and realy think about it all. I know what i need to do. just doing it all is the hard part. and i am sorry to all that i have been so quite too. i don't mean to be that way but when i'm thinking and taking stuff in. i don't know why i am so quite. ok i will check back in later with ya and will write some more.